Okay, so this is what happened:
A guy walks into a bar (no, this is not a joke). He spends the night drinking and playing with this knife of his -- apparently he's very proud of it, showing it off, flipping it around and such. He drinks more. Eventually he gets into some tiffs with people, and he's still waving the knife around, so he gets kicked out of the bar. Did I mention he's drinking heavily? And still tossing the knife around?
Well, Mr. Brain Surgeon -- and it's funny I should mention surgery -- eventually slips, as you knew he would, and stabs himself in ... Okay, you squeamish people might want to stop reading here ... the eye. That's when we got the 911 call.
The name of the bar? One Eyed Jacks.
It could only be more ironic if his name actually *was* Jack.
A guy walks into a bar (no, this is not a joke). He spends the night drinking and playing with this knife of his -- apparently he's very proud of it, showing it off, flipping it around and such. He drinks more. Eventually he gets into some tiffs with people, and he's still waving the knife around, so he gets kicked out of the bar. Did I mention he's drinking heavily? And still tossing the knife around?
Well, Mr. Brain Surgeon -- and it's funny I should mention surgery -- eventually slips, as you knew he would, and stabs himself in ... Okay, you squeamish people might want to stop reading here ... the eye. That's when we got the 911 call.
The name of the bar? One Eyed Jacks.
It could only be more ironic if his name actually *was* Jack.
- Current Location:work
- Current Mood:
stressed - Current Music:"Mack the Knife"
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ozma914- Mark Hunter
- Mark R. Hunter
Comments
That's the perfect icon accompanying your post.
And Ewww was pretty much my reaction, once I got past, "Oh, crap! Send everybody!"
Have to agree - that is a perfect icon for the tale as well.
The irony is, there's been no press release on this incident yet, so I can't write an article about it for our newspaper yet -- even though I knew about it through my full time job from the moment it happened. It can be very confusing, working as a part time reporter and a full time dispatcher.
And you say that this is NOT a joke? Because it certainly sounds like one...
Poor man...
By the way, an update -- it appears he's going to be able to keep his eye.
And how do you fall on a knife at eye level?? That takes some skill.
All joking aside, I hope he was OK, although I assume that the eye couldn't be saved.
Anyway, it appears he didn't fall on the knife. He was playing with it -- flipping it around and such -- and it seems his state of intoxication made him lose control of the, um, flip.
Get this -- I just heard this morning that they think they've saved the eye. It appears the knife didn't penetrate the eyeball, but kind of ... well, you don't want any details, suffice it to say it wasn't nearly as bad as it looked.
I was laughing, too, later on. Gotta be careful about gallows humor these days, though; there's already some controversy going around on that subject over the Steve Irwin death.
The shot in the foot was a bit above the norm. There was a guy out on parole, so he wasn't supposed to have firearms. But he stuck a gun in his pocket, and went off to show off at a local bar. However, when he reached in his pocket, he pulled the trigger. (Apparently the concept of a safety was strange to him.) He was probably lucky he only hit is foot.
This is where it gets kind of fun, but not up to your story. He fled the scene, and got as far as a Taco Bell two blocks away, where they called for an ambulance. Once at the hospital, he gaved an assumed name (because that always works) and made up a story of having been mugged. But by that time, the bar had called the cops, and there just aren't that many foot-shootings downtown in our little city in any given
nightyear.Goofiest thing to happen downtown since a guy got into an argument, went back into his apartment, and started chasing the other guy around with a katana.
That is a pretty good story, and actually fairly typical of the way scumbags think. You'd be surprised how often we find a car crashed along the side of the road, and when we show up at the guy's house he's drunk and saying, "What?! Somebody stole my car and wrecked it?" Sometimes they stick to that even after we've followed muddy footprints or a trail of blood right from the crash scene to the house.
I'll bet the guy who was being chased didn't think the katana was funny. :-)