This morning I got so fed up with calls that start 'Hello ma'am, my name is Lucy and I am from your computer supporting agency...' that, instead of my usual response of 'No you aren't, you are a scammer...' and then leaving the phone connected for the next 10 minutes beside the TV speaker, I entered a conversation with one;

"Hello ma'am....etc'

"I think you must have the wrong number dearie - I am an 103 year old lady living in a small hut without electricity or even a telephone...'

"It is about your computer ma'am..." (I find myself wondering how she is coping with the idea that I don't have a phone - I don't think she speaks enough English for it to have really sunk in.)

"Well - if I've won a computer in a lottery dearie perhaps you might just like to raffle it and give the proceeds to the Red Cross as it isn't any good to me. But it was so kind of you to let me know..."

Then I put the phone beside the TV speaker and left the room.