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buffy fanfiction: Xander's Job chapter 2

Xander’s having a really great day. This being the Whedonverse, such a moment of happiness can’t possibly last. Sure enough, the person he least wants to see shows up with some very bad news, and they end up flying around the world, to touch base with just about everyone in the Buffy/Angel universe. Post "Chosen", set just before my "Four Friends" stories.

kazzy_cee was kind enough to make me more "Xander's Job" icons, after I forgot to mention the story was set post-eye patch. :-(

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Xander's Job, Chapter 2: Conversation With a Dead Person:

Nice ride, Xander thought, looking around the interior of Wolfram & Hart’s private jet.

Just the fact that he was in a private jet was remarkable enough. Come to think of it, why didn’t the Watcher’s Council own a jet? Or at least a helicopter? After all, there was a heliport on the roof of their Chicago building, although he hadn’t known it until today. They owned cars, vans, even an ambulance, and though the old Council had been wiped out, Giles still seemed to have access to some deep pockets. Couldn’t they have one X-Men style hidden jet? Circling the globe, swooping down on demons and vampires --

Shaking himself, Xander glanced over at the vampire sitting silently across the narrow aisle from him. Angel hadn’t said two words since they transferred from the chopper to the jet at Midway Airport; he just sat there, staring straight ahead. Xander was getting antsy from the silence, which helped explain his mental diarrhea. “It’ll be dark by the time we reach Hartford. No canopies necessary.”

Angel glanced at him. “There’ll be a limo waiting for us.”

“Gee, it’s just like going to the prom again.” That made Xander think of Anya, and now it was his turn to retreat into a moody silence.

“What’s Giles doing in Hartford?” Angel suddenly asked, and Xander realized the silence must be getting to him, too.

“Insurance stuff. Apparently crime fighting headquarters are hard to insure. He was supposed to meet with some consultant a few days ago, but there was a scheduling problem, so Giles spent the time on the beach, watching bikini ladies and drinking long necks.”

A smirk crossed Angel’s face. At first Xander thought it was at the thought of Giles on the beach, but then he realized what else it could be. “I mean long neck beer bottles, not long necked bikini ladies.”

“That reminds me: There’s a bar back there, if you’re interested.”

Xander shook his head. “I gave it up. Turns out that stuff’s bad for you, especially if you try to make it a family tradition.”

Angel merely grunted, and they fell again into an uncomfortable silence. Xander looked out the window for awhile, but even though the glass was supposedly tinted to keep Angel safe, the vampire kept the curtain closed on his side. When Xander could stand it no longer, he spoke again. “So, how’s it been going? Anything interesting in the big city?”

For a moment he thought Angel wasn’t going to answer. Then, without looking at Xander, Angel said, “I turned into a puppet recently.”

“Oh.” To show how much his life had changed in the last decade, Xander didn’t even question it. “How’d that work out for you?”

“I didn’t like it much.”

“Too bad.” Irked by the feeling Angel wouldn’t have mentioned it, if not for the bad day Xander was having, he tried to think of some way to rile up his travel partner. “Did you have -- parts?”


“You know ... parts. Man parts.”

Now Angel did turn to look at him. “I didn’t check.”

“You didn’t --” That’s the first thing Xander would have checked for, but he had a feeling admitting that wouldn’t make him look good.

“My nose could come off,” Angel offered. “I don’t think I’d have liked it if ... other parts were detachable.”

“That would be freaky,” Xander agreed. At least he had a good idea what tonight’s nightmares were going to involve.

Angel cleared his throat, which started Xander’s thoughts on a tangent about whether vampires needed to clear their throats, or whether it was a habit. “How about -- all of you? I haven’t kept up much since you left California.”

But, Xander thought, somehow he knew they were in Chicago. “Not much to speak of. A Cheeseman who haunted our dreams brought all the dead slayers back to life so he could take over the world. Had a big fight, blew things up, the ghosts of our dead friends came back to help us ... pretty much the usual.”

Angel turned to stare at him. “Cheeseman?”

“Yeah. Also there was this singing, dancing demon, but the Cheeseman was the big ... cheese.”

“Bald guy, cheap suit? Comes into your dreams, always talks in riddles about dairy products?”

“Yeah.” Did vampires dream? “Have you had a run-in with him?”

Angel looked away. “Nah.”

Neither spoke again until the pilot’s voice emerged from the loudspeaker, announcing they were on final approach. Then, as one, both breathed, “Thank God.”


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 2nd, 2006 08:07 pm (UTC)
Angel looked away. “Nah.”

Typical bloody Angel!
May. 3rd, 2006 01:58 am (UTC)
"typical bloody Angel!"
That was a great compliment you gave me! Angel is so hard to write. If you're mad at my Angel for acting like Angel, then I must have done a good job.

(It was, of course, lots of fun throwing in the idea that he had his own run-in with Cheeseman.)
(Deleted comment)
May. 9th, 2006 01:28 pm (UTC)
Detachable bits?! *cringes*
May. 10th, 2006 08:39 pm (UTC)
That was so funny! Yes, typical Angel - and you have Xander down, too. I think you definitely have a gift for extrapolating what characters would be like in the future under the circustances you've set for them. It keeps them the characters we know and love (or not!), yet lets them change, as people do.
May. 10th, 2006 09:16 pm (UTC)
It's just a matter of feeling the characters (not literally) and making sure they'd do what they'd do.

:-) Okay, so it's not really quite that easy -- thank you! I do try really hard not to misuse the characters, which is why all the females in the BtVS cast aren't madly in love with Richard the Mary Stu watcher. *ahem* Hopefully I'm not giving away anything that wasn't already painfully obvious.
Oct. 3rd, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
Bwahaha! Hartford! Of course Giles is in Harford to deal with the insurance issues!

Love Puppet!Angel and the detachable parts. And Angel definitely wouldn't have checked to see if anything else was detachable, because he wouldn't want to know - but that's the first thing both Xander and Spike would check.

Have you written a story about the Cheeseman and the dead slayers? 'Cause that sounds intriguing.

(Just had to use my Pupet!Angel icon.)
Oct. 4th, 2007 06:38 am (UTC)
Yes, indeed, "Where Do We Go From Here" is set right at the end of "Chosen" and does indeed feature Cheeseman. It was my very first Buffy fanfic! You can find it here:


Puppet!Angel -- hee!
Oct. 5th, 2007 05:46 pm (UTC)
Oooh! Thanks. Bookmarked, 'cause I love the Cheeseman! And Puppet!Angel is here, if you're interested.
Oct. 6th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)
I'll check it out! Probably not this weekend, though, because I've got that novel contest entry thing going on. Puppet Angel is all sorts of fun!

Oh, there's another bad guy demon who also appears in that story with Cheeseman, you might get a kick out of him.
Oct. 6th, 2007 05:00 am (UTC)
I'm still trying to catch my breath from laughing at that Puppet!Angel story ...
Oct. 6th, 2007 07:53 pm (UTC)
Hee! So glad you liked it. I knew I wanted to do something humorous when I signed up for the mpreg ficathon/challenge, and then I thought of Puppet!Angel, and the story sort of flowed from there. *eg*

Good luck with the novel contest! I'll be sending good vibes your way. And I have the Cheeseman fic marked to read as soon as I finish Xander's Job.
Oct. 6th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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