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Green Energy ... In The Red

SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK

 

                “Excuse me, President Obama? We have a problem.”

                There will be no problems in this administration, young man; only hope and change.

                “Yessir, but … it seems the Solyndra Company has filed for bankruptcy.”

                What? That’s impossible. They can’t fail – it’s green energy! Green energy is our future, plus it’s really cool. It’s green, darn it!

                “Apparently they couldn’t compete with Chinese manufacturers of more conventional solar modules.”

But didn’t we give them a few million dollars?

                “Um, half a billion. And the state of California gave them twenty-five million, give or take a hundred thousand.”               

Okay, well, just send them some more. What are printing presses for, if you can’t print money with them?

                “It’s too late, Mr. President. All the employees were laid off without accrued vacation pay or benefits, and all the Solyndra executives took off with their five figure quarterly bonuses.”

                Why, that’s horrible. Horrible, especially in these times of all-Bush’s-fault high unemployment. Those people involved should be punished severely, drawn and quartered, hung from the highest, thingamajig the Navy hangs people from – do we know their names?

                “Oh, yes sir. Well, there’s Executive V.P. of operations and engineering, Ben Bierman, V.P. of marketing Karen Alter, stakeholder George Kaiser –“

                Wait – aren’t those people who raised money for my election?

                “Yes, why?”

                Well, I’m sure they acted in good faith and did their very best … why don’t we cut them a break, and restructure the loan so that when the company is liquidated investors get paid before our loan is?

                “But, sir – that’s a half billion dollars in taxpayer money –!”

                Printing presses, my friend. Besides, poor George Kaiser is a billionaire, so isn’t he getting enough stress from our good Occupy friends without having to worry about where his next mansion comes from?

                “But what will the press say about this?”

                Tell them that if this blows up a Republican might get elected in 2012. That’ll quiet down everyone who isn’t Fox.

                “But didn’t you say transparency would be the hallmark of your administration?”

                That’s exactly right: I want everyone to be transparent.  Everyone else. That way I know what they’re up to. Let’s not get silly with it, though.

                “Mr. President, some people are already calling this crony capitalism –“

                Now, everybody knows I don’t like capitalism. Why risk the ups and downs of free enterprise when we can just let the government take care of anyone? Aren’t people in countries with complete social and economic equality much happier?

                “I’ll ask the communists and get back to you, sir. But I was referring to your cronies.”

                Oh. Well, again, let’s not get silly. Look, I don’t understand this. We supported Solyndra, so they can’t possibly fail. Just throw some more money at it. Couldn’t we refinance their loan?

                “We already did, sir, to the tune of an extra $67 million, but they still went bankrupt … even after spending a million of it lobbying in Washington.”

                That just doesn’t make any sense. The government’s never wrong. I mean, not since 2008. I don’t regret giving them the loan. It was a good bet, and they’re green energy, and how can green energy be in the red?

                “Can’t argue with that, sir, what with you paying me and all, but here’s a thought: What about trying true free enterprise?”

                I don’t understand.

                “You know: No crony capitalism or corporate welfare, no risking taxpayer money in private business, no special interest preferences or tax breaks, no taxpayer funded bailouts. Free enterprise.”

                I … you’re not making any sense. How would that work?

                “Well, the government would step out of the way of entrepreneurs and inventors, small business people and job creators. As long as they worked within the law and competed fairly with each other they’d be allowed to sink or swim according to the laws of supply and demand. You know – the way America became great to begin with.”

                Are you insane? How can we control that?

                “We’re not supposed to control the people, Mr. President; they’re supposed to control us.”

                Who came up with that idea? We made another billion dollars in loans to green companies; are you telling me we should just let the people choose what they do and don’t buy, and what companies they do and don’t support? Next thing you’ll be telling me is that we should tell everyone what we knew about Solyndra’s failure. What’s next? Writing laws the average person can understand? Making Congress and the President abide by the same rules as everyone else?

                “What was I thinking, sir?”

                Look, you let me think for the people. You just do what I pay you for: Go out and find out a way to show this is all Bush’s fault. And hurry, I’ve got a fund raiser tomorrow.

 

Comments

( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
millysdaughter
Aug. 23rd, 2012 12:20 pm (UTC)
Yes, yes, YES!!!!
ozma914
Aug. 24th, 2012 05:29 am (UTC)
:-> I wonder how many followers I'll lose? Some people have no sense of humor.
sp23
Aug. 23rd, 2012 01:33 pm (UTC)
I'd laugh, but this is sadly, well, on the mark. And you didn't even bring up the money sent to Finland to build electric car. U.S. TAXPAYERS MONEY!

Edited at 2012-08-23 01:34 pm (UTC)
ozma914
Aug. 24th, 2012 05:30 am (UTC)
I'm actually in favor of alternative energy and fuel efficiency research. I just think they should use their own money for it ...
sp23
Aug. 24th, 2012 02:11 pm (UTC)
I'm not even 100% opposed to government assistance, just opposed millions of dollars given to political cronies for businesses that have either no hope of actually succeeding or to foreign countries with no jobs or tax benefits to the U.S.
ozma914
Aug. 25th, 2012 07:44 am (UTC)
If only they'd put us in charge! I'd be so tickled to be living in the White House that I wouldn't have any need for any bribes or cronies to make my life better.
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 24th, 2012 05:35 am (UTC)
Well, for starters, the system here doesn't allow the President to give taxpayer money to unproven private businesses ... but he does it anyway.

As for your first comment, I have a perfect answer for that one! The Obama administration has removed almost all mention of the word "terrorism" or any hint that we're at war from all government documents and proclamation. Apparently, as far as they're concerned, we're *not* at war. They seem to believe once we leave Afghanistan the extremists will just say, "oh, okay, they're gone, then", go back to killing their own people, and never again mess with America or any other free country. So, you see ... peacetime! I call bullshit, of course, but hey -- there's an election coming up. We don't dare tell the people that we're in the middle of a world war.
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 25th, 2012 07:56 am (UTC)
The short answer is that the President breaks the law, and the Congress lets him get away with it -- another example of how they're not doing their job, and we the voters let them get away with *that*. We have a system that worked pretty well, until the politicians realized they could spend money we don't have to make people happy, and get their votes again.

Basically Obama has been trying to blind the public since before he even started running for President. As I always do in Presidential elections, I started looking very carefully at him (and his opponent) as soon as he had the nomination locked up, and then had to do what every American has the responsibility of doing is they want to keep their country free: I spoke up about it. With a mainstream national media that's firmly in his pocket, it's what I had to do. It was very clear to me that he had no intention of obeying our Constitution or otherwise doing anything to get us back on the right track, and I was deathly afraid that if elected he'd do his level best to turn the USA completely in the wrong direction. Turns out I was right. So, yeah.

As for Romney being a Mormon, I'm not the least bit worried about that. In 1960 there was a huge debate over John F. Kennedy, whether he'd put the Pope before his country, and whether we could trust a Catholic in our highest office. Although JFK wasn't as great a President as we're sometimes led to believe, he did okay. Honestly, some Catholic beliefs are just as nuts in my mind as the Mormon story.

I don't agree with all of Romney's beliefs; but I've had four years of Obama, and an inebriated Donald Duck could do a better job. I have to go with the guy who's at least paying a little lip service to the idea of controlling our insane federal government and stopping the spending of money we don't have. (As for abortion, that's one area in which it's obvious to me that there are two lives involved, not just the woman's. I'm generally pro-choice in areas where the mother's life might be endangered, but treating abortion as a casual form of birth control just cheapens all of life.)
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 25th, 2012 08:54 am (UTC)
Oh, no, I'm not a staunch Republican at all! I'm strictly independent; I'm only registered Republican because in this state there was an arcane law that made you declare a party if you wanted to vote in the primary elections. (I'm told it's been changed, since I first registered.) Actually, I lean toward the libertarian side, and it sound like you and I have similar believes on abortion. However, when it comes down to either Republican or Democrats and a choice must be made, libertarians generally lean toward Republican thinking in all ways except social issues.

Now, you've made me wonder something: Do you suppose The Doctor somehow muddled his way through an American adventure and accidentally ended up founding the Mormon religion? It's totally something that would happen to him.
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 25th, 2012 09:57 am (UTC)
I have a feeling the Doctor Who writers would rather not jump into the controversy of having The Doctor jump start a religion! It would be a fun story, though. (One week to go, hmmmmm?)

Libertarian is a very generic term; most Tea Party members are libertarians, as are some people who hate Tea Party members. It basically just means we think the government should stay the heck out of our business as much as humanly possible -- and the "how much" part is open for seriously lively debate.
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 26th, 2012 09:22 am (UTC)
Nothing improves a nation's condition more than kicking the ass of a bad guy nation! I don't think much of one group of people invading an area that belongs to another group of people. After all, I am part Native American ... :-)
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 27th, 2012 05:25 am (UTC)
Nope. Not gonna hear any argument out of me. Besides, when it comes to all the stuff that happened before that, I subscribe to the Spike theory of history:

"You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not goin' around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world is not people making friends. You had better weapons, and you massacred them. End of story. "

Pretty much says it all. I didn't invade anyone, enslave anyone, or infect anyone with smallpox. Real sorry it happened, but now things are the way that are, and that's it -- I'm not giving up my islands because someone else is mad about something that happened a century ago.
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 30th, 2012 05:54 am (UTC)
Ah, oil -- that explains a lot.
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 30th, 2012 10:26 am (UTC)
Careful, now! You'll give yourself a stroke. :-)
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 31st, 2012 05:42 am (UTC)
Ah, the empire back then was just doing what all empires do -- in the context of the times, the British Empire did a lot more good than they did bad, at least in relation to most conquering nations. After all, if not for England my Irish grandfather and Cherokee grandmother would never have met!
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Sep. 1st, 2012 07:29 am (UTC)
Makes you wonder what will be the next most powerful nation on Earth ... Seems to be working its way west, so ... Rome, Britain, America ... China?
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Sep. 2nd, 2012 05:00 am (UTC)
Could be ... I'd just rather it be a democratically elected non white nation ...
(Deleted comment)
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )

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