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SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK


I’ve suffered from depression. I’ve also craved salt. No connection, right?

Well, maybe there is.

You’d think I’d want to stay away from salt. After all, my depression is caused by winter, and salt looks like snow, right? Or maybe it’s the opposite, since in theory if I had enough salt I could melt off all the snow in sight. There are two drawbacks to that: First, it would still be cold and dark, and second, instead of snow I’d be seeing nothing but foliage that’s dried out and lifeless, and don’t we get enough of that from post-election politicians?

Then there’s the part about needing several tons of salt and a helicopter, of course.

Forget it, bad idea. The point is, for most of my life I haven’t stayed away from salt, and now I think I know why. My blood pressure has always been low, so I figured where’s the harm in covering all my food in a white crust of my favorite mineral? My brother used to do the same thing with ketchup, and at least with me it didn’t look like I’d engaged in a fight to the death with dinner.

Sadly, it turns out that salt contributes to high cholesterol, and that’s a problem I do have. But I also have Seasonal Affected Disorder, otherwise known as SAD, the most appropriately named condition in history. So, naturally, it would turn out that I’d have to cut back on salt at the exact same time that I discovered salt may be Mother Nature’s very own antidepressant, and have you ever seen Mother Nature depressed?

University of Iowa researchers – and who knows wintertime depression better than an upper Midwest state? – must have had some salt shakers and a few extra rats sitting around one day, and maybe a federal grant from some favorite politician. So, they ordered McDonalds and spent a long night feeding fries to the little rodents. I’m talking the rats, not the politicians. Although if you’ve looked at politicians lately …

They discovered that when rats are deficient in sodium chloride – in other words, their salt level is low – the little guys tend to give up on activities they normally enjoy, such as drinking sugary drinks, surfing internet porn, and applying for federal grants to study researchers.

Their conclusion: Without enough salt, the rats got depressed. That, they say, could explain why people tend to intake too much salt when they’re feeling down, despite knowing full well that salt is bad for them.

In fact, since salt activates the brain’s pleasure mechanism and tends to be overused, it might qualify as an abused, addictive substance. Yep. A drug.

The FDA’s going to be all over this.

I’ve got a couple of problems with the whole thing. First of all, when I get depressed I don’t stop enjoying the things I normally like: I seek them out more. Chocolate, salt, and sleep – three of my top five favorite things, and the three things I seek out the most all winter. Frankly, sleeping through the winter, with occasional pauses for a Snickers bar and a bag of corn chips while curled up with a good book about chocolate and salt, would suit me just fine.

Second, if everything people overdo despite knowing it’s bad for them is a drug addiction, we’re in real trouble.

There are the obvious culprits, of course: Drugs, alcohol, reality TV, and other things which are clear and present danger to our society. If anything should be banned by the government, it’s every single one of the Real Housewives of Whatever City or State.

Then there are the equally hazardous but not quite as obvious dangers: Video games, the internet, Lindsay Lohan. Stuff that’s not so bad in small amounts, but that people tend to overdo to the point of making themselves ill. I used to be that way with ham, but since the cholesterol thing started every time I mention anything related to hogs my fiancée hits me upside the head with a salt shaker. They don’t hurt as much now, since she emptied the salt out after catching me sprinkling it on my tongue.

After that, we learn quickly that we here in America are just an addictive people by nature. Ever since Davy Crockett killed him a bear when he was only three, because he craved the fur, we’ve been overdoing it. I used to be addicted to reading: I’d take home the maximum permitted number of books every week, until the librarians staged an intervention and told me to go meet girls. Then I got addicted to girls.

We become addicted to our favorite foods, actors, types of music, foods. I said food twice to cover every pound. We “collect” way more than we could ever really use of shoes (which we can at least tell ourselves are practical) along with anything we can put together on shelves, from ceramic angels to Matchbox sized fire trucks (that would be me) to tiny spoons and shot glasses.

So, a salt addiction? No, if anything our overuse of salt is just a symptom of what’s happening to the average Joe all across the world: If they’ve got any extra money at all, they feel this overwhelming need to get more of something than they need. If we’re addicted to anything, it’s Stuff.

Of course, I don’t know too many people who have salt collections. Maybe a few salt of the earth types. In the end, maybe our desire for salt comes from the fact that for much of human history salt was a rare commodity. Maybe this is some kind of group memory, where we crave salt to overcome any future shortage.

Or maybe our food’s just bland. Pass that shaker, please.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous)
Oct. 12th, 2010 07:28 am (UTC)
Sea Bass
The best fish I ever ate was a sea bass baked in a crust of sea salt so thick that the fish was invisible. Why am I waxing poetic about salt? Because I have high blood pressure, and will never be able to eat another fish without a tear in my eye.
ozma914
Oct. 12th, 2010 08:30 am (UTC)
Re: Sea Bass
Oh, that's really sad. At least my blood pressure isn't up yet, but with this cholesterol it amounts to the same thing. Someone needs to come up with a healthy salt substitute that actually tastes like salt.
petzipellepingo
Oct. 12th, 2010 07:59 am (UTC)
Science takes all the fun out of being bad, doesn't it?
ozma914
Oct. 12th, 2010 08:30 am (UTC)
It certainly does!
woman_of_
Oct. 12th, 2010 10:49 am (UTC)
I can see David, my friend in this. He keeps the salt shaker by his side to add every so often to his food as he eats. He has high blood pressure, and problems with his high cholesterol, so is on the low sodium type salt. Me, I don't like low anything. I have sea salt (usually just added when cooking), full fat milk, no skimmed or semi skimmed for me, I want taste. But then I don't like cream, cannot drink a lot of milk, in fact limited to cooking as well or in my All Bran. End result, low blood pressure, meduim cholesterol, and low risk of diabeties (he has some signs of diabeties with how much chocolate he eats).

I guess, for these products, I have limitation. Not to say I don't have additions, such as smoking and caffine, just not these ones. Oh well, to each his own.
ozma914
Oct. 13th, 2010 05:09 am (UTC)
We *all* have additions -- I have Mountain Dew, so sugar and caffeine both. Moderation is the way to go, rather than trying to eliminate something completely. I really do think though, that genetics has more of an impact than additives to our diet in the long run. I still use a lot of salt, but my blood pressure runs lower than average.
millysdaughter
Oct. 12th, 2010 12:36 pm (UTC)
I like my sea salt grinder. It sits next to my plate.
ozma914
Oct. 13th, 2010 05:10 am (UTC)
I'm a big fan of sea salt -- I like the taste more, and from what I'm hearing it's better for you.
frogfarm
Oct. 12th, 2010 02:08 pm (UTC)
Gary Taubes debunked the salt myths before the saturated fat/cholesterol ones:

http://www.nasw.org/awards/1999/99Taubesarticle1.htm
ozma914
Oct. 13th, 2010 04:29 am (UTC)
Yes, but who's trying to debunk *him*? :-) Actually, what he describes reminds me a lot of the global warming controversy, right up to people profiting from spreading fear and others in both areas claiming "the debate is over" -- which, just as in waiting for study results to come in, is NOT how science operates.

There's also a disturbing feeling that this follows the trend I've been noticing over the years, in which governments decide they know better than people do about how to live their lives. So, hey ... thanks to you, I now have some hope that I can have my salt, and eat it to.

Also, maybe I could turn this debunking into another column. Win! It certainly would explain why I've been drowning myself in salt all my life, but have always had *lower* then normal blood pressure.
synaptikchaos
Oct. 12th, 2010 06:28 pm (UTC)
interesting. i hadn't heard about salt and depression.

and i want to say i loved this sentence:
They discovered that when rats are deficient in sodium chloride...the little guys tend to give up on activities they normally enjoy, such as drinking sugary drinks, surfing internet porn, and applying for federal grants to study researchers.
ozma914
Oct. 13th, 2010 04:06 am (UTC)
It was news to me, too. Isn't it great how I can find unusual news articles like this and steal them to get a column? I mean, inform all my readers?
vovat
Oct. 25th, 2010 12:24 am (UTC)
Salt might look like snow, but it also MELTS snow.

I like salty snacks like crackers and pretzels, but I pretty much never add salt to food. I guess I only like salt when it's somehow mixed in, as opposed to when it's right there and obvious.
ozma914
Oct. 25th, 2010 04:31 am (UTC)
Believe me, I have three huge bags of ice waiting in the garage, all prepared to melt snow to their hearts' content.

It's easy to control salt from the shaker, if you've got the willpower, but it's amazing how much salt is added to food these days before we even open the container.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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