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An ode to computers

My next entry for National Poetry Month:

Computers suck.
sucktastic stacks of
suckiness, they suck
the lives of poor humans

who dare to trust
the very thing that sucks them down
to Microsoft hell
in a sucky handbasket.

Mountains of suckiness, rising
above the crappy flow of Suck River
You don't want to go up there --
especially without a paddle.

Electronic vampires, they
suck out our will to live with
sucky crashes, sucky viruses,
sucky connections, sucky design

And general suck.

The amish aren't so dumb.
No electricity means no master computer suckage
and when's the last time the Amish were brought to a standstill
by some moron zit faced kid with evil intent and his dad's laptop?

Makes mucking the horse stalls worth it.
Because a horse may kick you,
but the only glitch you risk
is getting brained by a thrown shoe

And isn't that faster and less painful
than blowing an aneurism in your head
or getting your brain cells sucked out
by a Bill Gates torture device from hell?

How's that for free form. I call it "Suck". Suck on that, Windows.


( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 20th, 2010 04:06 am (UTC)
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(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 20th, 2010 05:27 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 20th, 2010 06:43 am (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 19th, 2010 12:22 pm (UTC)
I usually just skim over the poetry, but you hooked me with this one!
Apr. 20th, 2010 04:07 am (UTC)
I guess you could say I ... sucked you in? ;-)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 20th, 2010 06:44 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 20th, 2010 10:17 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 21st, 2010 05:41 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 21st, 2010 06:35 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 21st, 2010 09:26 am (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 19th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEEEEE! I'm generally not one for poetry, BUT THIS IS GENIUS!!!!
Apr. 20th, 2010 04:08 am (UTC)
Maybe you think it's good because you don't usually read poetry? :->
Apr. 19th, 2010 02:29 pm (UTC)
this poem speaks to me
Apr. 20th, 2010 04:10 am (UTC)
It's probably saying "Mark must have had a bad night at work". :->
(no subject) - cornerofmadness - Apr. 20th, 2010 01:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 21st, 2010 05:42 am (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 19th, 2010 05:56 pm (UTC)
I quite like the general theme you've got going here. And there's just a hint of alliteration which only enhances the entire thing.

Having problems with your PC?
Apr. 20th, 2010 04:14 am (UTC)
Problems with my PC?
Figured that out, huh? ;-) You're the first person who's actually mentioned it, but I'd imagine it's pretty obvious. Work computer caught a virus; half the night I tried to fight it off, and the other half I spent trying to change that unit out with the call-taking computer. That would be roughly thirteen hundred wires to disconnect ... and reconnect.

I love my Mac.
Apr. 19th, 2010 11:41 pm (UTC)
Hee! (Did you know that on Facebook, if you go the part where you add which religion you are, there's an option for "Christian - Amish"?)
Apr. 20th, 2010 04:16 am (UTC)
I wonder how many Amish are on Facebook?!
Apr. 21st, 2010 01:30 am (UTC)
I try never to go anywhere near Windows.
Apr. 21st, 2010 05:40 am (UTC)
I wish that was possible for me. I'll use it as another incentive to get my fiction published: When I'm working for myself, I won't have to be surrounded by Windows machines anymore.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 28th, 2010 08:09 am (UTC)
I haven't seen it -- but after the first few comics, I'm officially a fan!
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 29th, 2010 03:40 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 29th, 2010 02:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 33 comments — Leave a comment )

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