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local news of the weird

Someone stole a hearse from the Kendallville area last week.
The black Buick hearse, which was believed to be unoccupied, was reported missing from a location in the 1000 N block of CR 850E at 10;39 a.m. Saturday. Police were investigating a possible suspect in the theft of the vehicle, and the incident remains under investigation.
The hearse reportedly did not have a plate on it, and otherwise should be fairly easy for an alert citizen to spot.


Notice how I avoided mentioning how the thief may face -- wait for it -- a stiff penalty?

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Aug. 31st, 2009 12:41 pm (UTC)
Usually they bury stories like this ...
vovat
Sep. 1st, 2009 02:53 pm (UTC)
For that joke, you should have to go sit in the coroner!
ozma914
Sep. 2nd, 2009 01:42 am (UTC)
Ouch -- I'm so upset ... that I didn't think of that one first.
curiouswombat
Aug. 31st, 2009 10:28 am (UTC)
You only 'believe' it to be unoccupied? :~)

Here that is newspaper speak for 'we have an unconfirmed story that...' - I like the idea that the funeral directors might not be certain!
ozma914
Aug. 31st, 2009 12:43 pm (UTC)
From what I can gather, it's not an in-service hearse -- I just added that part for the fun of it. :-> But you're right -- there have been many times that I've put in an "allegedly" or "reportedly" even though I knew darn well that's the way it happened -- gotta keep us from being sued.
cbtreks
Aug. 31st, 2009 12:05 pm (UTC)
LOL! And they say nothing happens in small towns.... (How small is Kendallville these days?)
ozma914
Aug. 31st, 2009 12:47 pm (UTC)
Well, by our standards it's fairly big -- just over 10,000 people in the 2000 census, but it should be a couple of thousand more by now. When you're someone like me, who grew up out in the country with the nearest town having 1,600 people, ten thousand is a lot!
sp23
Aug. 31st, 2009 01:36 pm (UTC)
From Love At First Bite after Renfield steals a hearst for Dracula:

Dracula: You did real well, Renfield.

Renfield: Thank you, master.

Dracula: A combination getaway car and mobile home.

:-D




ozma914
Sep. 2nd, 2009 01:43 am (UTC)
Hee!
Hee!
cornerofmadness
Aug. 31st, 2009 04:44 pm (UTC)
snort
ozma914
Sep. 2nd, 2009 01:44 am (UTC)
Hopefully they won't kill the story ...
cornerofmadness
Sep. 2nd, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
i hope not
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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