June 8th, 2021

book cover humor

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Headache Lorelei

Yesterday I Couldn't Even Spell Ciprofloxacin

As we enter the second month of sinus infection, hope among CDC personnel of a cure is beginning to fade.

Yes, I still have that same super-powered sinus infection I wrote about several weeks before--kind of the Death Star of nose germs, it's been lasering the inside of my head.

No, I haven't been writing much about it. There are only so many ways to poke fun at sick sinuses before the joke grows as tired as ... well, as being sick. Besides, I used to get sinus infections like politicians get bribes, until I had surgery. Now there's one every year or two, at about the same rate Godzilla destroys Tokyo.

I'd been healing, more or less, I thought. Until this past weekend. We spent about four hours sitting outside along a gravel road Sunday, so it's possible the dust and pollen contributed ... but Saturday I felt so bad I couldn't even write, and that's going some.

There are ways to tell if a sinus infection is getting worse. If you tap your cheekbones, and the back of your head bulges out like something out of an "Alien" movie. Another sign is the color of your ... well ... mucus. You know. Nose stuff. It's supposed to be clear, apparently, but this weekend mine took on the same greenish-yellow tone as my first car, only without the fun of driving too fast.

We'll speak no more about that.

If you value your appetite, don't even read the instructions.

So on Monday the Doc decided to up the game. The little booger bugs seem to have gotten used to the antibiotic that worked before. So we would continue with the neti pot --please don't ask for details--extra vitamin C, lots of vitamins, a nose spray, plenty of rest, and a brand new antibiotic.

"I don't want to take more pills," I whined, stamping my feet. But the truth is, by Monday morning my balance was off, my throat was scratchy, and overall I looked like I'd spent the weekend doing something fun, which I hadn't.

So, introducing Ciprofloxacin.

No, I can't pronounce it.

"Take this with food," the Doctor ordered, "or you'll regret it."

No problem, I'd mix up a tall glass of chocolate milk. Any excuse to break out the Nestle's Quick.

Then I read the instructions. Do not take with milk, calcium fortified beverages, yogurt, antacids, or anything containing calcium, iron, or zinc.

So what, now I have to pay attention to what's in my food? Ignorance, like chocolate, is bliss.

That made me curious about the information page they include in medicine. Generally the more print, the more you have to worry about, so I borrowed a microscope and scoped it out, and I am so, so sorry I did.

but at least now I understand where the nausea, dizziness, lightheadedness, and headache came from. Another symptom is sun sensitivity, but I have the schedule of a vampire. Oh, and then there's the possibility of serious nerve problems. And liver problems. Vision changes. Seizures, irregular heartbeat, hallucinations, diarrhea, and, oh yeah, mood changes, which I did indeed get after reading the warning sheet.

Plus it can interact with caffeine to make you even more caffeinated, so maybe it's not all bad.

And how do I feel about all this? Thankful. Without modern medical stuff, I might have to walk around the rest of my life with a severe sinus infection, which is kind of like a normal sinus infection, only with thunderbolts and lighting ... an idea I find very frightening.

So yeah, it's going to be an unpleasant week, but I can still walk, even if it's sideways. I can still breath, through my mouth. Not only can I eat, but I have to, every eight hours on the dot, whether I want to or not ... even if the foods I can take with Cipro are limited to salt-free soda crackers and celery sticks. And that's the last time I'm going to talk about it.

Until next time.

It could be worse: Nowhere is chocolate mentioned on this.

http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"