December 18th, 2018

book cover humor

My tweets

Coming Attractions

More reasons why books are the best Christmas gifts

This would seem a good time for a reminder that books are the best Christmas gifts. Yes, even for non-readers: In fact, books owned by people who don’t read are not only great re-gifts, but when not re-gifted they’re the books in the best condition. No dog-ears, no food stains, no bent pages … pristine. Two hundred years from now, they'll be in such great condition you can resell them for enough to make up for inflation, if you should happen to still be alive.
In addition to that, books:

          Never talk about politics unless you want them to.

          Can be effective weapons for self defense, especially if written by George R.R. Martin.

          Make bookcases more useful. In bookcases used for a figurine collection, a few books between the ceramic angels can keep you from having to rename your furniture.
Can be hollowed out to hide contraband and/or listening devices.
Require no batteries, unless they contain listening devices.
Almost never rot your brain ... depending on the book.

          Don't have to be read in a crowded book theater; there's no guy sitting right in front of you yakking into his cell phone, unless you have kids. Send the kids to the movies.
Never go offline during power outages, assuming you have backup lighting. If you don’t have backup lighting, are you really smart enough to read?
Support local authors. Well, support local authors if the authors live near you. But they're local for someone, aren't they? Even Anne Rice lives somewhere. I assume. Or you could support me, which would make me happy, and don’t you want to see me happy? I thought so.

If you’ve heard horror stories about shopping this time of year, you could always go to our website at This gives you a choice of several books in five or six different genres (because I just can’t seem to keep my mind on one thing), with prices ranging all the way down to free (for Strange Portals, anyway). It’s like Black Friday somehow turned into bright December.

So that’s my pitch, and if you spread the word I promise I’ll continue to be funny and entertaining.

Okay, I’ll try. But even if I'm not, I'll always have books.