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February 5th, 2014

My tweets

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Stupid groundhog.

If you don't absolutely have to, don't go out. The roads are horrid -- again -- and snow plow crews aren't going to be able to keep up with the wind-blown drifts. I barely made it home; was almost hit head-on by one moron, and almost rear-ended by a tailgater, and had to shovel my way into my garage. If your job requires you to be at work like mine does, I can only say be very careful ... if you're an employer and you can do so, tell your workers to stay home.

Forget Pot: Ban Potholes

SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK

 

            Did you hear about the pothole that swallowed Cleveland?

            It spit the city back out. Thought it didn’t have good taste.

            Actually, a few years ago I wrote a story inspired by a news report I read, in which a hole opened up and really did swallow an entire intersection in Cleveland. Cleveland residents will tell you nobody beats them for potholes, by any measure: depth, width, hang-time while falling into it …

            But everyone else in every other community across the country, large and small, will make the same claim. Potholes are a nationwide problem, like politicians, Obamacare, and bobbleheads. (I can’t help it, they freak me out. Bobbleheads, too.)

            Potholes happen due to fatigue. No, not the driver: the road surface develops a crack, and the cracks form a pattern called crocodile cracking. At that point crocodile skin is stronger than the pavement, so the cracks spread until the pressure of passing vehicles pops whole areas loose. They’re usually made worse by large temperature changes, so around here they’re a winter and spring thing. But like politicians, potholes can pop up anywhere, anytime, and cause great damage.           

I know it seems like I’m poking a lot of fun at politicians, but in this case there are many similarities between them and potholes: They both cost money, and both have seasons in which they appear more often. Both cause people to curse and demand something be done about them, but most people never actually do anything to fix things themselves.Collapse )

 

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