April 19th, 2010

Snoopy Christmas

An ode to computers

My next entry for National Poetry Month:

Computers suck.
sucktastic stacks of
suckiness, they suck
the lives of poor humans

who dare to trust
the very thing that sucks them down
to Microsoft hell
in a sucky handbasket.

Mountains of suckiness, rising
above the crappy flow of Suck River
You don't want to go up there --
especially without a paddle.

Electronic vampires, they
suck out our will to live with
sucky crashes, sucky viruses,
sucky connections, sucky design

And general suck.

The amish aren't so dumb.
No electricity means no master computer suckage
and when's the last time the Amish were brought to a standstill
by some moron zit faced kid with evil intent and his dad's laptop?

Makes mucking the horse stalls worth it.
Because a horse may kick you,
but the only glitch you risk
is getting brained by a thrown shoe

And isn't that faster and less painful
than blowing an aneurism in your head
or getting your brain cells sucked out
by a Bill Gates torture device from hell?


How's that for free form. I call it "Suck". Suck on that, Windows.