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February 3rd, 2010

Ten things I don’t want to hear from the urologist during my prostate biopsy on Friday:

10. “Oh my gosh, it really does look like a walnut. I wonder if they’ll all be like that?”

9. “Move the antenna – the reception’s lousy down here, and I’ve got a hundred bucks on the game.”

8. “Look at the size of that thing! Grab some Raid.”

7. “Shoot, my flashlight keeps cutting out – nurse, hand me that box of matches.”

6. “Let’s have some fun: I’ll bet I can make him toot ‘Old Man River’.”

5. “Oops, I took a wrong turn. Let me take a glance at that chart on the wall.”

4. “What the heck, as long as we’re in here let’s go for the appendix.”

3. “This is so much easier than my old job as a plumber.”

2. “So, Mark, do you like … gladiator movies?”

1. “I’m not coming out until I find Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher!”

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