February 24th, 2008

Little Ozma firefighter

911 can be fun

Last night we got a suspicious activity complaint in a cemetery; the investigating officer discovered the groundskeeper had set up a heating unit, designed to thaw the ground out over a gravesite so they could dig the grave. Unusual, but not unheard of.

In the early hours I received a 911 call. To paraphrase, the woman said, "Um, there's a little cemetery north of Ligonier ... it's up along State Road 5?"

"I think I know the one you're talking about," I said, having already figured things out.

"Well, um ... this is going to sound strange, but ..." *embarrassed cough* "Um -- I think a grave is on fire."

So many straight lines, so little time. But I was good -- it's a recorded line, after all -- and I let her know what was going on. But that left me with all those great unused lines, all the things I should have said. So I set up a poll: If I didn't have to worry about my job, how should I have replied?

Poll #1143944 Having fun with 911

How should I have answered?

Well, I guess we know where he went.
Didn't you know? Ligonier is built over a hellmouth
Guess those Winchester boys are at it again.
Still another unforseen result of global warning!
It's okay, he was a lawyer -- flames are to be expected, from time to time.
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