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November 14th, 2005

on romance

washu_hime said something in her journal about how -- to paraphrase -- men are sappy and romantic, and none of the women she knows are romantic at all. She said she doesn't want men opening doors for her, and that running in front of a bus to save your love is just plain stupid. One of her friends commented that she once dumped a guy for being "too nice".
Well, I can't comment on her LJ because I'm not friended, and I don't know if it's improper to put my comment here instead. But I'd already written it before I found out her LJ didn't like me, and it bugs me to not put my writing to some kind of use, so here's what I wrote:

"I've been dumped for being "too nice". But in my experience most women (at least, in middle America) are starved for romance, while most men wouldn't know romantic if it smacked them in the nose. Perhaps it depends on your definition of romantic; I always thought holding a door was polite, not romantic. To me, romantic is a candle lit dinner, or making love in front of the fireplace (not too close!), or even talking over breakfast.
Trying to save somebody from an oncoming bus is just trying to be a decent person -- which, sadly, often does involve doing something that modern society considers stupid. It's no different from running into a burning building, which is something I've done once or twice. Nobody said it was the smart thing to do.

Then there's the fact that many men use romance only as a way of getting sex. I love sex, but the "using" part is very sad. So the backlash against romance may be because of the way it's misused."

That's my take on romance. However, I'm one of those people who's been burned a lot but remains a romantic at heart, so how smart am I?

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