I understand why people like those internet surveys that go around -- what better way to find out those little things about your friends that, in the old days, you'd learn by actually spending time around them? But I've gotten so many of them that I've gotten to be a little ... well ... flippant with my answers. Here's one I received, and just sent back. Just after sending it, I realized it was very difficult to realize which answers were real and which were, um, exaggerated.
1. Time Started: 4:51 a.m.
2. Name: Mark Richard Hunter
3. What does your name mean? “Spot peed on by small dog”.
4. Who picked out your name? My mother named me Mark, my dad called me Rick, right up until the day I went into therapy.
5. What’s your nickname? Defendant
6. What color are your eyes? White. Oh, the other part? Kind of hazelish.
7. Do you have an innie or an outie? innie
8. What size are your shoes? 11 1/2
9. How tall (or short) are you? 6 feet even, last time I measured – but I have a sinking feeling that I’m … well, sinking.
10. Honestly what do you like about yourself? Um …. I have a decent sense of humor, according to everyone except those who think I don’t, and I shower every day.
11. What do you always get complimented on? People like my writing. Except, again, those who don’t..
12. Worst quality? The older I get, the less patience I have for idiots.
13. What are the last two digits of your phone number? 68. Which added together make 14, which is my “lucky” number.
14. Do you think you're cute? I really don’t want to talk about it..
15. Hair color? brown
16. Do you wear contacts? No, and I don’t wear my glasses half the time, either.
17. Living Arrangements? Breathe in … breath out. I own my very own home, except for the part that the bank owns, which is hopefully that part that needs repaired really badly.
18. Favorite drink? Mountain Dew
19. Favorite alcoholic drink? I really love daiquiris, but as far as I’m concerned you can leave the alcohol out.
20. Favorite Month? July – although this particular July was kind of hard to love.
21. Favorite FOOD? Chocolate. Duh.
22. Favorite Board Game? Strip Monopoly. Talk about a slow burn …
23. Favorite Web Site? Fanfiction.net, because they were kind enough to put my fiction online. And, also, the fiction of 743,231 other people..
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Brand? Who cares? Is it comfortable?
25. Favorite day of the Year? No favorite, really.
26. Fav color? Green, although it’s been pointed out that I tend to wear black. No idea why.
27. Favorite Animal? I don’t kiss and tell.
28. Do you have more girl or guy friends? I tend to have more girl friends, and most of them are writers.
30. Are your parents together? no
31. How often do you get together with the family? Which members? If you’re talking a full family gathering, a few times a year. Any more often than that, and we wouldn’t have time to recover from our injuries.
32. Do you see your parents or your friends more? Well, I don’t SEE my friends; I e-mail them.
33. Anything special about your parents? They’re of the poor but proud variety.
34. Siblings and their ages? 44 year old brother, plus various younger sisters, half sisters, step-sisters, and step-brothers. It’s like we have our own football team, only we never put on padding before we fought.
35. you think you are a flirt? I wouldn’t know how to flirt if you drew me a diagram.
36. are you a prude? I am so NOT a prude that many people wonder what the heck I’m doing in a place as conservative as
37. are you mean? See that guy who cut me off without using his turn signal? He needs to die.
38. You like someone? I like many people, although a fair percent of them talk about me behind my back. I don’t know … maybe that’s better than not being talked about at all.
39. You can keep secrets? I’m the king of keeping secrets; and for a little cash I’ll tell you who crowned me.
40. You dance in front of the mirror? I don’t do anything in front of the mirror – I even shave in the shower.
41.You sing in the shower? Constantly, when I’m not shaving – that’s the only place they’ll let me.
42.You like Britney Spears? I like to call her “The Dancing Moron”. But really, it’s not her fault that she’s clueless about the real world.
43.You've liked a cousin? Liked as in romantic like? Where do people come up with questions like this? (Ah – yes, I had a hot cousin. Who didn’t?)
44. you've been in the opposite sexes bathrooms? Yeah – there was something missing in there, but I haven’t quite figured it out.
45. ever hurt an animal? not on purpose
46. You've been hurt physically/emotionally? What kind of a life would it be if you never got hurt?
48. You get your way? Yeah, right.
49. You're willing to try new things? To a degree. You can forget anything that involves putting unnecessary holes in my body parts.
50. You've cheated on a test? No. Am I missing the fun?
51. What are you wearing? Brown dress pants, white sweatshirt, brown boots (I’m at work).
53. What are you listening to? Sadly, The Weather Channel
54. How are you feeling? Tired. What else is new?
55. What are you doing now? Typing -- duh.
56. Who was the last person that text messaged you? I’m a texting virgin
57. How's the weather? Hot, humid, stormy
58. What books are you reading? I’m hoping to read the new Harry Potter book, as soon as somebody gives it to me for my birthday … hint, hint …
77. the last movie you saw? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
78. what did you have for dinner? Spaghetti my daughter made.
79. What do you hope for? A book contract. And sex. Neither seems especially likely this year.
80. What concert do you really want to go to? I’m not a concert goer, but is John Williams touring?
81. Where is your favorite place to travel? Any place where there are beaches or mountains.
82. What did you last dream about? Um, I was dating Natalie Portman, but she left me after I told her she should let her hair grow out. I’m not making this up.
83. What song lyrics would best describe you? “Pretty fly for a white guy”.
84. If you were a crayon what color what would you be? Pink – get it?
85. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My daughter. I think I was asking for more spaghetti.
86. Do you like the person that sent this to you? Absolutely.
87. Ever had a crush on a teacher? Ms. Tilker, she taught typing. White slacks. Yum.
88. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Yes. *sob*
89. Scary movies or happy ending? Happy ending
90. Summer or winter? Summer! Even one like this..
91. Relationships or one night stands? Relationships
92. Chocolate or Vanilla ice cream? Chocolate!
93. Do you want your friends to write back? Well, sure … but time’s always an issue.
94. Who is most likely to respond? I don’t know … who’s gotten this far?
95. Who is least likely to respond? Natalie Portman. I would assume she’s still mad about the hair comment.
96. What did you do last night? Meeting time at the fire station.
97. Anything else you want to add? Are any of you fiction publishers? Or Natalie Portman?
98. Time finishing.