In the early hours I received a 911 call. To paraphrase, the woman said, "Um, there's a little cemetery north of Ligonier ... it's up along State Road 5?"
"I think I know the one you're talking about," I said, having already figured things out.
"Well, um ... this is going to sound strange, but ..." *embarrassed cough* "Um -- I think a grave is on fire."
So many straight lines, so little time. But I was good -- it's a recorded line, after all -- and I let her know what was going on. But that left me with all those great unused lines, all the things I should have said. So I set up a poll: If I didn't have to worry about my job, how should I have replied?
How should I have answered?