So Instead of flowers or chocolate, this year you give her flower-shaped chocolate.
Let me know how sleeping on the couch works out.
Or, you can get them a book about Valentine's Day! Now that I think about it, maybe you should have it delivered with flowers ... just in case.
A bunch of us got together a few years ago to write this humor anthology, and it could save your romantic life ... unless you got a copy last year, too. In that case--unless you have a different significant other--you might want to consider lingerie. Or, um ... chocolate flavored lingerie in a flower print.
Or you could gift them one of my romantic comedy novels. But a book that actually has a Valentine on the cover is pretty appropriate.