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The Wal-Mart story

JillyH2009 and I were standing at the checkout at Wal-Mart, where I'd put an anti-allergent spray and cooking spray, among other things, on the belt. This lady in front of me glanced at my items, then looked up at me and said, "Am I going to read about this in the paper?

My first thought was that those items must be prime ingredients for some kind of homemade bomb, and she was suggesting I was going to blow something up. But then I realized she was talking about my column, and I said something like, "Well, instead of spraying this anti-allergent Fabreze on my furniture, I could spray it on the cat. That would just seem to make sense, wouldn't it? Take a step out of the process?"

She proceeded -- here comes the good part -- to tell me I was the "funniest writer in the world". So apparently she reads my column, or maybe picked up my shopping list.

I barely managed to sputter, "Well, Dave Berry might disagree with that", and that's about all I could say. After she paid and walked off, I turned to Jillian and said, "I have NO IDEA who that was". (Later she introduced herself to leap_to_faith at the phramacy, but I still didn't recognize the name.)

Not that it mattered. I smiled the rest of the afternoon. :-)

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( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
frickangel
Apr. 6th, 2007 09:37 am (UTC)
Heh... the first time someone recognised me (after a front cover on the local newspapers) I was initially embarassed and blushed most of the time, same went with the articles I wrote. Then I got used to this after a while and just smiled. Then the other day someone recognised my name from a few stories I published and I blushed again. I felt like a friggin' school girl.
ozma914
Apr. 6th, 2007 11:43 am (UTC)
After almost two decades of writing my column I still don't know how to react when people compliment me -- especially when it comes suddenly. I was shoveling snow in my driveway one day when a woman walking down the sidewalk called out to say how much she loved my column. It's a very strange feeling -- makes me want to fix my house up and keep my hair combed. :-)
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Apr. 6th, 2007 01:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - frickangel - Apr. 6th, 2007 01:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 7th, 2007 07:10 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 7th, 2007 07:12 am (UTC) - Expand
alwaysjbj
Apr. 6th, 2007 10:08 am (UTC)
That is so cool!
ozma914
Apr. 6th, 2007 11:44 am (UTC)
I KNOW!
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Apr. 6th, 2007 11:45 am (UTC)
I'm still smiling when I think about it; three days later! I also got a big kick out of the look the clerk gave us, as if she was trying to figure out where she should know me from. :-)
redwolf
Apr. 6th, 2007 10:31 am (UTC)
Yay! You have a fan!
ozma914
Apr. 6th, 2007 11:47 am (UTC)
There's been a running joke in my column about my "three regular readers" ... guess I'll have to make it four!
mygothangel
Apr. 6th, 2007 11:04 am (UTC)
ack! second try:

I beg your pardon, redwolfoz! I'm his fan, too! *g*

But I'm sure you have much more funs than us two, Mark :)

the "funniest writer in the world"
wholeheartedly agree

PS who's Dave Berry? ;-)
PPS promise me, you won't ever come close to my cats! LOL
ozma914
Apr. 6th, 2007 11:50 am (UTC)
Okay ... five regular readers! :-) As for having fun ... sometimes it seems like I get my funniest columns out of the unfunniest moments. But as long as other people are laughing *with* me, I'm all right.

Dave Berry is a humor columnist, like me, except he managed to get syndicated and has appeared in hundreds of newspapers across the country. He's also published several books, so he seems to be doing okay for himself. On my bookshelf, I have a copy of his book "Shoot Low, Boys, They're Riding Shetland Ponies".
(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 6th, 2007 11:51 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mygothangel - Apr. 6th, 2007 11:55 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ozma914 - Apr. 7th, 2007 07:29 am (UTC) - Expand
elizalavelle
Apr. 6th, 2007 11:25 am (UTC)
awww that's just so fantastic! I totally thought it was going to be a "homemade bomb" assumption as well but this is a much better story!
ozma914
Apr. 6th, 2007 11:53 am (UTC)
No, my brother and I gave up on homemade bombs in our teens, after that unfortunate incident with ... the ... um ...

Never mind.
deborahw37
Apr. 6th, 2007 03:46 pm (UTC)
And now you have to write about it in next week's column


You simply have to!
ozma914
Apr. 7th, 2007 06:37 am (UTC)
It won't be in next week's, since that's already turned in. Actually, I'm thinking of holding on to it, since the story itself isn't long enough for an entire column, and maybe combinging it with some future good writing news like an award nomination or *crosses fingers* a book deal.
sockmonkeyhere
Apr. 7th, 2007 01:22 am (UTC)
Yay, fame! LMAO, that story's just fabulous. I don't blame you for smiling days later, either; what a wonderful compliment she gave you! (I would have probably blown it by blabbing out something morbid like "No, the cooking spray's for my cat, so he won't stick to the frying pan.")
ozma914
Apr. 7th, 2007 06:23 am (UTC)
the cooking spray's for my cat ...
Nuts. Why didn't I think of that? :->
bloodytearslife
Apr. 7th, 2007 03:09 am (UTC)
Hehe! You're famous!
ozma914
Apr. 7th, 2007 06:10 am (UTC)
I'm not sure if that quite met the definition of famous, but it was certainly an amazing (and surreal) moment for me!
synaptikchaos
Apr. 7th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC)
groupie!
ozma914
Apr. 7th, 2007 07:34 am (UTC)
Hee! Ha ... hm ...

You think?

:->
(Deleted comment)
ozma914
Apr. 7th, 2007 10:51 am (UTC)
Heh -- I think there's a way to go before I count as a celeb. I was only 12 miles from home when that happened, after all!
cbtreks
May. 17th, 2007 04:20 am (UTC)
Congratulations! I bet that's a great feeling (though rather odd, too). FWIW, I think you're funnier than Dave Barry. Then again, I'm the first to admit I'm a little weird. *g*
ozma914
May. 17th, 2007 07:29 am (UTC)
yes -- odd. But good.
Well, Dave Barry's just the first person who came to mind. There's always Erma Bombeck. :-)
( 30 comments — Leave a comment )

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