Song Parody: Stop The Snow

I  first posted this a couple of years ago, but it seemed really  appropriate today, since as I type this there's a winter storm raging  outside. I hate winter storms. Well, only if I have to go out in them,  or pay for heating the house during them, or if it's winter. Otherwise I  don't mind. Anyway,  I worked foolishly hard on this, so I decided to put it up again. 

But  here's the thing: parody songs are really only good if you're familiar  with the original, which in this case is "Let It Go" from Frozen.  If you have kids of a certain age, you've not only heard it, but you're  sick of it. (I'm not--but my kids are all grown up, and I've only seen  the movie once.) If you haven't heard it, you can here:

   Or see the original lyrics here:

  I know what you’re thinking: “Why, Mark? Why?” Good question—I don’t even find it easy. But I present you with: “Stop the Snow”.    

The snow’s piled high almost to my thigh
It’s so cold I want to scream
No sign of spring salvation
I’m stuck in a snow globe dream

The wind howls through windows, bringing swirling snow inside
Couldn’t keep it out, plastic sheets I tried

Let the dog in, his frozen pee
Is an icicle I never want to see
My hands can’t feel—this weather blows
Thanks to the snow

Stop the snow, stop the snow
Can’t get my car unstuck
If I had enough dough
I’d move away from all this yuck
I know just what the forecasts say
Get your storm rage on
I’m stuck in my drive anyway.

It’s funny how this temperature
makes everything seem blue
And if you don’t see the misery
there’s something wrong with you.

It’s time to go and break the ice
To start the car, oh please play nice
No lights, no juice, not to be rude
I’m screwed

Stop the snow, stop the snow
Just one day when it’s warm and dry
Car won’t go in the snow
Ice falls down from tears I cry
Here I push in four foot drifts
Till my hands freeze on …

A patch of ice takes me to the ground
Underneath the snow it’s all cold, dead and brown
And one thought penetrates my frozen brain
Summer’s not so bad—I don’t mind the rain

Stop the snow, stop the snow
My car’s buried in five foot drifts
I can’t feel, my own toes
I’ll never make it to my shift
My hands are blue and my face is white
I could use a lift
But the snow plow buries and passes by.


They didn't have this in "Beauty and the Beast".


But ... I'm so cool!


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