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Back Cracking and Mower Mania

So ... kind of a sucky week.

Actually, all of July kind of sucked, and the first few days of August just went along with it. Come to think of it, 2017 as a whole hasn't exactly been stellar.

But never mind that, let's go to the lawn mower. I never did get this out on all my social media, so you might not have seen it:

For the record, the tire is not supposed to go that direction.

This is the same mower my stepfather repaired for me after the carburetor crapped out. A carburetor is a ... thing ... that does ... something ... in an engine. According to my wife's research, the carburetors in this particular engine brand are now made out of plastic. Plastic in a piece of equipment that's designed to burn stuff under pressure. Yeah.

Now, this would be the same mower that gave me other problems, including a gas cap that wouldn't stay on and other small pieces that seemed to fall off at random. In addition, the little bar that stops the mower from running if you release the handle kept it from starting at all, until I bent the control wire in an un-designed direction. In retrospect, I should have known it was a lemon from the get-go, but it didn't become clear to me until after the warranty ran out.

And now there I was, pushing the mower across the yard, when suddenly the cut became uneven. It became uneven because one of the tires came off. And it wasn't just the tire: The whole assembly that held the tire to the mower deck just peeled away, like wet cardboard.

(I checked: It wasn't wet cardboard. It was metal that looked like web cardboard.)

So, for the second time, I didn't get to finish. I showed the above photo to my wife, and began my prepared speech, which was to be, "If you want to have someone fix it, that's fine, but you've got one week to get it done before I trash this piece of--"

I didn't get beyond "If you want" before she said, "Oh, we're getting rid of that thing."

My wife is a consummate researcher. It's because of her that I know about plastic carburetors, and what "consummate" means. It's in the dictionary. Who knew? Within days she narrowed down the new mowers, and then we went shopping.

For years I avoided mowers with grass catchers, because they fill up after about two passes. It took longer to mow a lawn than it does for me to assemble furniture, and I don't have that kind of time. But now we have a compost heap, which loves grass clippings, so Emily found a mower that could change between a rear bagger and a side discharge. Not only that, but it has four working wheels, and a three year warranty. Heaven in the grass.

It only took me a few hours to get it put together. And I needed to get on it, because the last two times I mowed, only about a third got done before disaster struck. It had been so long that the part already mowed needed it again, and that's where I started--a flat section, where I could get used to the new equipment.

I was being careful, you see.

But I didn't take something into consideration. I accounted for the new mower,  but not the extra weight of the bag filling up. So, when I went to turn a corner on a hill, the mower zigged and my spine zagged.

I'd mowed a third of the lawn--the same third I mowed last time--before my lower back went "twang!"

It didn't sound exactly like that, of course, but that's kind of how it felt. And that's why I didn't go online much for awhile: It hurt to type. It hurt to walk, sit, lay down, lift a finger, swallow, think ... well, it hurt to think about the pain, anyway. It hurt so much that I came to appreciate my  chronic back pain. Sure, that hurt all the time too, but it didn't feel like the red hot barbed tridents they use in Hell.

But my wife, through experience, has become a very good nurse. Three days later I was able to go back to work, and if you ask me I did a pretty good job of hiding the fact that my pain had only been reduced to agony status.

What have I learned from this, you ask? Well, first, always keep some of the good pain pills around the house. More important, either get a goat, or hire someone to mow your lawn. I'm leaning toward that last--I can only imagine how badly I'd get hurt dealing with a goat.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
elizalavelle
Aug. 6th, 2017 10:26 pm (UTC)
My friend has goats. She frequently tells me that goats are assholes. So there's that ;)

You have grandkids who are getting big enough to mow a lawn...
ozma914
Aug. 7th, 2017 10:14 am (UTC)
That's one reason why my wife wants a goat -- apparently they're sometimes put into the same enclosure with horses, and that keeps people from messing with the horses. I guess the two animals get along!

My grandkids have a few years to go yet, but I've got nephews that can mow. However, I want to do it -- I need to exercise, with all these desk jobs.
elizalavelle
Aug. 7th, 2017 02:50 pm (UTC)
My friend who has goats also has horses so the theory checks out :)

I feel you on the need to exercise. Sitting all of the time for work is not great.
ozma914
Aug. 10th, 2017 10:47 am (UTC)
Actually, I kinda prefer sitting most of the time, but I also don't want to die young!
kazzy_cee
Aug. 7th, 2017 07:06 am (UTC)
As I remember your lawn is hilly isn't it - so a good mower is important. I think the fist mower was never up to the job! Ouch for your back. I've done that 'twang' thing once this year and it really is agony. I think the worst part is no being able to sit down! Hope it's feeling much better now.
ozma914
Aug. 7th, 2017 10:43 am (UTC)
Most of it is kinda/sorta flat, but it has a hill out front and a much larger one in back. Maybe my problem was buying a cheap mower, but the new one has some features that should make things a bit easier for the job, like larger tires in the back. In any case, I've learned my back lesson! Until next time.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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