My final news release before the 2012 Noble County Relay for Life this weekend. The entire release, with a schedule of events, is on my website:

http://www.markrhunter.com/2012/05/15/cancer-survivors-to-speak-at-relay-for-life/

            Cancer survivor Jennifer Will is coming to the Noble County Relay for Life Saturday to tell her story of battling breast cancer. Will, the mother of two and wife of Noble County optometrist Dr. Matt Will, will help headline the Fight Back Ceremony, which starts at 9 p.m. at the West Noble football field and track, south of Ligonier along SR 5.

            Will joins another cancer survivor, Judy Middleton of Albion, and the two will share their stories of fighting back against the disease at the May 19-20 American Cancer Society event. Activities begin at 10 a.m. Saturday with the National Anthem and presentation of colors, and go on until the closing ceremony at 9:30 a.m. Sunday.

            “It’s our responsibility to fight back and reduce the number of our own family members and neighbors who face cancer,” says Chairperson Carla Fiandt. “We’re here so those who face cancer will be supported, those who lost their battle will not be forgotten and so, one day, cancer will be eliminated.”

Stitching Together an Obama Opponent:

 http://www.markrhunter.com/2012/05/10/stitching-together-an-obama-opponent/

 “Now Republicans are left with Mitt Romney, a guy whose first name makes everyone think of frostbitten fingers. That’s why I’ve got twenty bucks on Obama being a two term President.”

The super full Moon is — super! It drowns out most of the stars, and casts hard shadows; there’s an almost surreal look out there. Tonight the Moon is 14% bigger and 30% brighter than average.

Glad I don’t have to work tonight.

Window Crushes Home Maintenance Dreams:

http://www.markrhunter.com/2012/05/05/window-crushes-home-maintenance-dreams/

“My main tool kit consists of a hammer, a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a credit card. An old credit card, which can do things like open locked doors.”

(posted on my newly redesigned website -- thanks, Emily! It'll be much easier for me to update, now. What shall I put on it?)

My new turnout gear is in! Thanks, Bryan Peterson, for taking a quick pic while torturing me with my lack of an iPhone.

SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK

            This might come out a bit more disjointed than usual, and not as funny, as I’ve just been through something of a rough week.

            What’s that, you say? I’m always disjointed and not as funny? Clearly you’ve never read the side-splitting account of my prostate exam, which never fails to clear the room.

            There are ways one can deal with medical problems: laugh, cry, or stoically carry on, for instance. I whine … but I channel it into a job. This makes me the Woody Allen of my block, complete with a much younger wife but without the movie credits.

            This all segues nicely into the story of my fiancée-wife, who I’ll refer to for the next year as my fiancée even though she’s kind of my wife. Segues aren’t just for riding around in malls anymore. (You have read my previous column explaining this, yes? Shame on you.)